The GhostBusters VS BeetelJuice
by GirlX2
Summary: Like the Title says.
1. Chapter 1

Inspired by the WWWF's grudge match up between BeetelJuice & The GB's.

Ray slowly scanned the kitchen door.

"It's a portal all right. Lucky for us its only accessible from the other side."

"Okay Ray, so what do we do about it?" Peter said impatiently. "I have a date tonight and would like to get this over with as quickly as possible."

Egon clucked at his friend. "You're the one who insisted on accompanying us tonight Peter. Winston, Ray, & I can have handled a simple pair of class 1 repeaters. You could have stayed with Janine in case of an emergency call."

"Fat chance, your girlfriend's got PMS. Also know as 'Pummel Men Stupid'." Peter muttered.

"She's not my girlfriend." Egon said mechanically.

Winston flicked his cigarette out the window. "Okay, where are these spooks?"

"The tenants said they hang out in the attic." Ray put the PKE scanner away. "I don't know why they're so freaked out though. From all indications, these spirits are completely harmless."

"It's just the way the world works Ray. Some people are just unjustly prejudiced against the undead." Peter gave a mock sigh. "Ah well. Let's get bustin' and get the hell outta here."

The quartet moved upstairs single file.

'Our 1,300th bust.' Ray smiled to himself. 'It's historic. Too bad its not bigger...'

The youngest GB's reviewed the past few years in his mind. Their disastrous first bust in the hotel. The triumph over Gozer & then Vigo. The day the city gave them official Ghost Busting licenses...

"Attic ho." Peter unsheathed his gun. The other's followed suit. "Spengs, you lay the trap. Winston, Ray, you lay down the beams. I'll cover you."

Peter eased the attic door open. "Oh my God..."

"What? Is it another portal?" Egon tried to peer around Peter.

"These people are total pack rats!" Peter let the door swing open. "They probably have rats too."

"You really need to cease that Peter." Egon muttered.

The GB's filed in. Ray's eyes immediately went to the scale model of the town.

"Wow. This is some real craftsmanship!" He inspected the table. "It's almost as good as the Spook Central Model I made at home."

"Thanks. I try." A voice said modestly.

The GB's turned around. A handsome man in his late thirties stood behind them with a bemused smile. "Can I help you guys?"

"Are you...are you the...?"

"If the word you're looking for is 'ghost', yes."

"But you look...normal." Winston said weakly.

"Those of us who don't make trouble often do. Now, can I help you guys?"

"Who are you?" Egon asked quietly. "What's your purpose?"

"My name is Adam. I really don't know what my purpose is." The man shrugged. "But then again, who does."

"Adam, who is it?" A pretty woman faded in besides him.

"Ghostbusters." Adam said. "I think we're being evicted Barbara."

"What?" Barbara looked alarmed.

"No, no, its not like that." Ray said quickly. "We had reports of disturbances here. You two don't seem the type though..."

"I can assure you, we're not. There's only one ghost who ever disturbed anything around here was BeetelJuice." Barbara clamped her hand over her mouth, looking horrified.

"Who's BeetelJuice?" Peter exchanged glances with the other GB's.

"Don't say that name again." Adam said quickly. "You say his name 3 times and it calls him to this plane."

"He's an awful poltergeist." Barbara said. "He nearly got us sent to the realm of lost souls."

"The death of the dead." Adam said quietly.

"Guys, what I think we have here is a simple misunderstanding." Peter said slowly.

"Yeah, you guys barely even register on the scanners. You certainly don't have the power to harm anyone." Egon said.

"Nor do we have the intentions. The new owners of this house want to get rid of my model. In the house's contract it says the attic is ours." Adam said. "We just want to be left alone."

"Tell you what. We'll tell the new guys we got you, weld the door shut so they can't get in, & you guys cut out the parlor tricks." Winston said. "Cappish?"

Barbara & Adam grinned.

"That was the easiest two K we ever made." Peter grinned as the GB's drove away.

"Seemed like a nice couple." Winston agreed.

"I'm interested in this BeetelJuice character. I've never seen that name pop up in any of the literature." Egon said.

"Oooh, you said BeetelJuice." Peter said mockingly. "Look out, big scary poltergeist coming!"

"I think I have to say it two more times Peter."

"Whatever Spengs."

Egon poured over his books.

"Find anything?" Ray asked.

"Nothing. This 'BeetelJuice' is nowhere. He must be a newer entity." Egon sighed.

"Just let it go Egon." Ray grinned. "We've got enough on our plates without you dishing our extra portions."

Egon nodded and started to put things away, shaking his head slightly.

"BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice..." He muttered absentmindedly.

In the netherworld, something shifted.

"It's Showtime."

The GB's had settled in for the night. Ray snuggled close to his 'Mr. Stay-Puft' doll.

'The guys would kill me if they knew I still had this...' He sighed sleepily.

"Hey kid. Got a light?" A gruff voice protruded into Ray's ears.

"What the..." He scrabbled for the lamp.

"Never mind. I got one." The voice said.

A flame erupted on the Doll. The GB's eyes widened.

"AHHH!" He threw the flaming Puff off.

The light's flickered on.

Ray stared at the strange man sitting on the end table. He wore a decaying convict's suit. His hair was bright yellow. His teeth were green.

"What are you?" Ray demanded.

"I'm the Ghost with the most dude." The goblin grinned its green smile.

"Get the proton packs!" Ray yelled.

"What?" Peter sat up sleepily.

"What's going on?" Egon snapped awake.

Winston yawned. "A call?"

The man glared at him. "Shouldn't have done that."

He began to shift shape.

"Guys..." Ray called, eyes growing wider. "Help!"

The being had shifted into a fanged snake.

The other GB's halted their approach of Ray.  
"What the hell is that!" Winston demanded.

"I don't know." Ray squeaked. "Just get the proton packs!"

Peter took a cautious step forward. "Who are you?"

The snake hissed at him.

"Okay, Mr. Hisssss, would you kindly get your slimy ass the hell outta my firehouse!"

"Snakes aren't slimy Peter, they're smooth."

"Not the time Egon!"

"Sorry."

Winston had crept away during the banter, and quickly retrieved a pack and a trap.

"Somebody lay this down & I'll blast it." He whispered.

The snake had wrapped itself around Ray's legs and midsection.

"Guys, did I ever mention I have a slight phobia of snakes?" Ray's teeth chattered.

"We've come for your manhood Ray." The snake grinned.

"Now!" Winston let loose a blast. Egon flung the trap down.

"Arrrrgh! OOOOOH!" The snake writhed, dropping off of Ray. The shaken man retreated quickly.

"It's working!" Winston yelled.

"ERRRRRRRRRR! Yeah, Baby, that's the way I like it!" The snake changed back into the man, undulating wildly.

"He likes it!" Egon demanded.  
"Pervert!" Peter yelled. He grabbed the gun and shut it off.

"Killjoy." The man frowned.

"Who are you and why are you haunting our bedroom?" Peter asked point-blank.

"Sorry Pete, can't tell ya that." The man lay back in mid air & stretched out comfortably.

"It's BeetelJuice!" Egon said suddenly.

"Shut up!" BeetelJuice yelled.

"BeetelJuice, B--MMPH!"

A metal plate had slapped onto Egon's mouth. Bolt's held it firmly in place, despite the Doctor's frantic tugging. His eye's widened in horror.

"Egon! Okay, that's it, no more Mr. Nice Busters!" Peter yelled.

"Whatcha gonna do Pete? You're little bug zapper won't work on me, & if you try anything funny...well, lets just say that plate will be the worst of your problems." BeetelJuice grinned lewdly.

The GB's glared at the malevolent Poltergeist.

"We're not gonna let you just hang out here." Winston growled. "Especially if you don't un-bolt our friend here."

"MMPH!" Egon added.

"No can do on that either, since he's the only one who knows how to get rid of me. Looks like we're gonna be roommates!"  
"Over our dead bodies." Ray growled.

"Well, that means I've got the advantage, as I'm already dead." BeetelJuice grinned.

"That's it, get the other proton pack's guys. Mr. BeetelJuice is going down." Peter glared.

"Mmmph! Mmmmph!" Egon moaned and gestured wildly.

"Thanks Spengs, we'll keep that in mind." Peter slid down the pole.

Egon rolled his eyes and followed.

'Paper...pencils...where the heck are our writing supplies?' Egon searched wildly.

"Egon, let's just zap him, you can play mime later!" Peter yelled, running back up the stairs.

Egon rolled his eyes and followed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The GB's had surrounded BeetelJuice.

"Time to say Bye-bye Mr. Juice." Ray grinned.

"You first." BeetelJuice gestured & the GB disappeared.

"Ray!" Two startled voices cried out.

"MMPH!"

"Where's Ray?" Peter growled.

"You turn off those pistols, maybe I'll tell you." Beeteljuice grinned.

"What happened?" Ray groaned & sat up.

His gaze traveled.

"No...it's not possible! It was blown up!" He rose shakily to his feet.

The rooftop of Spook Central surrounded him. Ceremonial tables, the demon dogs--all of it was there.

"How..." He trailed off as he caught sight of the tower's new backdrop.

"Oh my gosh."

His now gigantic friends were pointing the proton rays at the ghost.

"Guys!" He yelled, dreadfully aware he was squeaking more than usual. "I'm right here! Egon! Winston! Peter!"

Unaware that a miniaturized Ray was almost within their grasp, the GB's continued to threaten BeetelJuice.

"You bring Ray back & unclamp Egon right now you Son of a Bitch." Peter said slowly.

BeetelJuice grinned and winked out of sight.

"What the hell?" Winston yelled.

Egon sheathed his gun and re-started his frantic search for a pencil.

"So now what? We blast him, the freako likes it. Not to mention he's got freaky powers." Peter said with disgust.

"Hey dude, you guys need to lighten up." The familiar voice came out of nowhere.

The Ghostbusters's theme began to play in mid air.

"What the hell?" Peter said, confused.

"Why's he..." Winston's eyes suddenly widened. "If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?"  
Before Peter could marvel at the fact Winston had just pulled off a perfect Ray Jay Parker Jr. impersonation, his own mouth moved.

"Ghostbusters!"

"If there's somethin' weird, and it don' look good, who ya gonna call?"

Peter tried to clamp his jaws shut to no avail. "Ghostbusters!"

The two stricken GB's began to dance. Egon paid them no heed as he kept looking for a pencil.

Ray stared, transfixed on the musical number. "This is not good."

Peter struggled, but his body was no longer his own. Winston's eyes bugged out. The ghostly music continued to play from the walls.

Egon began to search the tabletop for a pencil.

"Egon! Egon!" Ray jumped up and down, waving. "Look up here, darn it!"

Egon's eyes briefly flickered to the top of the tower. Slowly, his gaze traveled upwards again.

"Mmph!" He inquired disbelievingly.

"Egon, I've got a pencil in my bedside drawers." The inch-high Ray yelled. "Get it, and write down what we need to do to get rid of that thing!"

Egon nodded, and made a dash for the bed.

"...If you're all alone, pick up the phone, and call!"

"Ghostbusters!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Ghostbusters!"

"Who ya gonna call?"  
"Ghostbusters!"

With that the two collapsed, exhausted, onto the floor.

"What...is...that thing?" Winston gasped.

"Class...nine." Peter wheezed.

The two slowly climbed to their feet.

Egon found his prize. He sized the pencil and began to write on the table.

"Naughty naughty Dr. Spengs." Beeteljuice popped back.

Egon ignored him and continued to scribble. That is, until his pencil became a fanged worm.

"MMPH!" He threw the creature away. BeetelJuice caught it one handed and slurped it down.

"Mmm. Delicious & nutritious." He grinned.

Egon looked like he wanted to be sick.

"That's it!" Peter loosed a blast onto BeetelJuice. "Winston, cross the damn stream, so we can annihilate the bugger."

"And ourselves? No way man." Winston loosed his own blast, keeping it clear from Peter's. "Let's try to get him in the trap first."

Egon snatched up the forgotten trap and lay it down. "MMPH!"

"Thank you Marcel Marso." Venkman said. "Okay, bring him down...slowly..."

"You think this thing can hold me?" BeetelJuice demanded.

"Yep." Peter said as it sucked him in.

"Shiiiiiii..." BeetelJuice vanished inside.

"Well, that's that." Peter grinned.

"Mmph!" Egon pointed to his still plated mouth.

"...Or not."

"Mmph, mmph!" He pointed to the tower.

"What's up?" Winston peered down at the roof. "Oh jeeze."

Peter stared down at the Mini-Ray.

"Now what?" He squeaked.

Peter sighed and sat heavily. Ray wobbled slightly in his tower.

"Watch it Peter!"

"Sorry Ray."

Egon mimed using a pencil. Winston nodded and retrieved one from his own drawers. Egon scribbled wildly on the table.

"Say BeetelJuice three times in a row." Peter read slowly. "That will send him back to the nether world, and hopefully cure Ray & I of our various...Yeah Spengs we get it. Stop graffiti-ing the furniture."

Egon dropped the pencil sheepishly.

"What if calling him again just breaks the trap?" Ray asked.

"Or worse, he get's sent home and you two are stuck that way?" Winston said pointedly.

"The Mini-Ghost buster. It'll be all the rage this fall." Peter brighten with merchandising possibilities.

"Peter, that's not funny!" Ray protested.

"Mmph." Egon agreed.

"We've gotta let him out, then say his name." Winston said slowly.

"Can't we do this tomorrow? I'm beat." Peter groaned.

"Peter!"

"Mmph!"

"Fine, sheesh." Peter threw his hands up. "But let's do it somewhere besides here. I don't want that thing having access to my stuff.

"Downstairs." Winston agreed. He grabbed the smoking trap and slid down the pole.

"C'mon Ray, you've got a date with some lint." Peter gingerly placed the GB in his front pocket.  
"Thanks a lot Pete." Ray grumbled, muffled.

"C'mon Spengs." Peter slid down.

Egon slid down after him, the metal plate screeching against the pole.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Okay, as soon as he's out, we hit him with the beams & hold him while Ray says...the B word three times." Peter said while laying down the trap.

"And if that doesn't work?" Winston readied his laser.

"We look for a good metallurgist & a scale modeler." Peter replied.

"Mmph mmph mmph." Egon rolled his eyes.

Ray brushed some stray lint from his hair. "I still think my containment beam--"

"Would be a novelty for bugs and microbes. Just say the damn words Ray." Peter placed the younger Buster on a shelf out of harm's way. "Lets do this thing."

Winston flicked his beam to full power. Egon flipped a switch & the trap burst open.

"Containment!" Peter hollered as three beams shot out.

"You son's of bitches!" BeetelJuice roared. He twisted in the rays.

"Now Ray!"

"BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice!" Ray yelled.

Nothing happened.

"I can't hold him much longer!" Winston bellowed.

"Mmph!" Egon's eyes widened with realization. He shut off his laser.

"Egon, what the Hell!" Venkman yelled.

"MMPH! Mmph, mm, mmph!" Egon gestured wildly at BeetelJuice & the proton packs.

"Timmy fell down the old well!"

"MMPH!"

"Shut off the packs! He'll kill us!"

Egon shook his head furiously.

"He can't be drawn back with us holding him!" Winston realized. He shut off his own pack.

"Mmph!" Egon nodded.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Peter shut off the laser.

"BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice!" Ray yelled again.

"Aw crap!" BeetelJuice vanished in a swirl of dust.

There was a loud crash as the shelf a now full sized Ray was sitting on collapsed.

The plate peeled off Egon's lips and dropped to the floor.

"We never...speak...of this." He gasped.

"Agreed." The others chimed in.

"Peter, you need to clean your uniform better. There was about three feet of slime in that pocket." Ray said.

"Don't start with me Ray."

The End.


End file.
